Unquestioned Answers

“Do you know what we call opinion in the absence of evidence? We call it prejudice.”

State of Fear, Michael Crichton

You didn’t ask. But why, then, do you know the questions? Believe it or not, these are (nearly) all answers to unfair questions I’ve heard before. Do any of these surprise you?

  • A 2015 Volvo XC90, sand. Just the one.
  • I don’t know how to play golf, croquet, or polo.
  • Yes, but no one named Biff or Muffy.
  • No. You will need a much better reason than that to join my family.
  • Over the sink, with a mug of Keurig coffee.
  • Don’t bother, nothing on that shelf reveals the secret passage.
  • Thank you! I like the print, especially. Amazon.com.
  • I’m sorry, but I don’t discuss how much I give to charity. (You’re way off, though.)
  • Actually, I do. The chicken is 19 and the chardonnay is 9 by the glass.
  • As a child? Cat, not pony. Right now? Zeus, Apollo, attack! …kidding, none.
  • Zero yachts. Zero private planes. Zero golf carts.
  • Collect? You mean besides compliments and/or misfortunes? Give me a minute and I’ll think of something. There must be something.
  • And I would have got away with it, too, if it wasn’t for you snooping kids!
  • Sure, but don’t bring your bathing suit; we don’t have a pool.
  • Or a billiards room.
  • He definitely is entirely perfect enough to be a trophy, but he was my high school sweetie first.

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